How I Finally Finished My Book and Escaped Toxic Relationships: A Personal Journey
- Jan 29
- 4 min read
There’s a question that often lingers in my mind: "Am I really doing this?" How frequently do we question our choices, especially when they stem from a place of profound passion? My journey of writing Messy Merlot began in April 2023. It was not only a battle against empty pages but also against some of the toughest relationship challenges I have faced. This is my story of discovering resilience, completing my book, and steering away from toxic relationships in the process.
The Seeds of Creativity and Challenge
When I started writing Messy Merlot, I was bursting with creativity. Ideas flowed freely as I envisioned vibrant characters and expansive worlds. The excitement was palpable. Each day felt like a new page in my adventure.
However, this thrilling wave soon collided with personal turmoil. I found myself caught in a friendship that had shifted from supportive to suffocating. My friend’s initial encouragement slowly morphed into criticism that chipped away at my self-esteem. Studies show that 52% of individuals in verbally abusive relationships struggle with feelings of inadequacy, and I was no exception. Their negative words clouded my mind, making it nearly impossible to focus on writing.
Recognizing Toxicity
The moment I recognized the toxicity in my life was both frightening and freeing. I had become accustomed to waking up each day dreading interactions with this friend. Their negative comments filled my thoughts, weighing heavily on my creativity.
It’s crucial to understand that verbal and emotional abuse can present itself as "tough love." Often, toxic individuals mislead you into believing their harsh words are a form of help. The reality is simple: genuine kindness does not stem from constant belittling. Acknowledging this truth marked the beginning of reclaiming my personal power.
The Breakthrough: Embracing the Power to Change
By mid-June, I realized it was time for change. I needed to carve out space in my life for my own voice to flourish. It became clear that completing my book would require eliminating elements that stifled me.
I initiated a heart-to-heart conversation with my friend, expressing my feelings about the damaging dynamics. I approached the discussion compassionately but firmly stated that I could no longer sustain a relationship that was dragging me down.
A Gift of Self-Discovery
Post-breakup, I struggled with an identity devoid of that friendship. This newfound freedom was both exhilarating and intimidating. With the negativity fading, my passion for writing surged back. It felt similar to adjusting a camera lens that had long been blurry. The clear view unleashed a tide of inspiration.
Stepping away from a toxic lifestyle enabled me to embrace my true self without fear. I poured my heart into Messy Merlot, crafting characters who echoed my desire for authenticity. With each chapter, I reaffirmed my identity, unmarked by the influence of that negative energy.
Finding the Right Support
As I plunged deeper into my writing, I sought out positivity. I connected with fellow writers and supportive friends who uplifted my spirit. In these nurturing environments, my creativity skyrocketed.
I discovered vibrant online writing communities that fostered encouragement and shared enthusiasm for storytelling. I learned valuable strategies and techniques that refined my writing process. The experience was empowering, as I was surrounded by individuals who celebrated my progress instead of criticizing my work.
Divine Timing and Blessings
What struck me during this journey was how the universe works in unexpected ways. Once I committed to releasing toxic influences, a clearer path emerged—not only toward completing my book but also for personal growth. Opportunities unfolded in ways I had never imagined.
Letting go created room for blessings. Each completed chapter symbolized releasing burdens—both in my narrative and my life. On days when inspiration flowed, I could write uninterrupted for hours. It felt as though the universe conspired to support my vision once I prioritized my well-being.

Celebrating Completion
In late September, after five months of dedicated effort and personal transformation, I typed the final period of Messy Merlot. Holding the manuscript that emerged from my struggles felt surreal.
I reflected on how every challenging step away from that verbal abuse contributed to this milestone. Those moments of uncertainty evolved into resilience. I celebrated this accomplishment, recognizing my growth not only as a writer but also as a person reclaiming my narrative.
The Journey Continues
Completing my book was just the start of a new chapter. I learned that toxic relationships can seriously hinder our growth and creativity. Walking away may be tough, but it can unlock doors we never knew were there.
Ultimately, prioritizing our mental and emotional well-being is essential. Surrounding ourselves with positivity and constructive feedback allows us to thrive creatively. My experiences taught me to sift through toxic relationships and understand which connections genuinely uplift me. The support from encouraging friends, a community of writers, and a deeper relationship with God have all shaped who I am today.
Embrace Your Journey
Each person's journey is unique, filled with ups and downs. Recognizing what holds us back from realizing our dreams is important. If you find yourself in a toxic relationship, muster the strength to distance yourself. By doing so, you create space for the opportunities and blessings you have always desired.
Change takes time, but the journey toward positive relationships and personal growth can start with a single decision: prioritize yourself over chaos. Moving to a supportive environment can bring forth the abundance you deserve as you embrace your true self.
So, write your story, break free from negativity, and watch as life unfolds beautifully.
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